Bitterness and Depression

One day last month, the cloud of depression lifted. As quickly as it settled in on my life, it left. Not much changed, not my diet, sleep habits or work/life situation. I have the same husband, same kids, same house and same job. I attend church with the same frequency. My nutrition is very much the same as it has been in recent years. The amount of sleep, or lack of it, has remained the same. There are no new medicines, etc. The only thing that changed was the weather and an approaching vacation (which we have already taken).

Something snapped. Why I don't know. I awoke one morning to feel rested and energetic. That day I was almost manic at work. People definately noticed. I pretty much finished up every outstanding project assigned to me and was asking for more. That was Monday. The rest of the week I was a little less energetic, thankfully, but there was a new sense of determination and pride in my work. Actually, these are old feelings, but ones that have been absent from me for a very long time. Suddenly, I care again! It hasn't quite spilled over into my personal and home life, but it will. I'm already considering getting this weight/health issue under control by joining Slim For Life. What's next, the laundry gets done?

One other thing has changed and that is: I have been working closely with a co-worker on one of my duties that I will soon be relinquishing to him. Is it a sense of obligation to hand off this task in good order that has sparked my new found enthusiasm? Perhaps its the chance to vent and commiserate? I don't know, but whatever it is, I praise God for allowing it to happen in my life.

I'm not sure we'll ever understand depression. Sometimes I get the feeling that the only thing that works to combat it is prayer. (Not to say, that if you are depressed and not getting better, that you just need to pray more. I'm only pointing out that while other approaches may or may not work, we know that everything is in God's hands.)

Now, I need to work on the bitterness I'm harboring in my heart. The bitterness is becoming toxic and making me unpleasant to be around. Worse yet, I fear it is spreading...at work and at home.