By the Skin of My Teeth

Everyone has something they'd like to change about themselves. Something that causes them much angst. For many it's their nose, or maybe that spare tire they're lugging around. Yeah, I've got all those problems too, but they don't really bother me for the most part. But what do you do when the thing you loathe about yourself the most is part of your personality? Let me tell you, you have LOTS of stress and worry. Especially if you are a procrastinator like me.

My husband jokes that I'll figure a way to be late to my own funeral. And I will. Yep, it's pretty much a character flaw. People in my family tell me to be somewhere at least a half an hour before I really need to be there because they know I'll be late. I never get to bring the relish tray to Thanksgiving - people want to munch on the veggies while their waiting on the food and of course I won't be there until well after the Turkey is on the table. I'm more of a desert person anyway. ;) Just the other day, I had Chinese for lunch and my fortune was "Do not hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems". No joke. In case you are wondering, this drives Daddy CRAZY, but he loves me anyway.

This flaw of mine has caused me so much anxiety and just plain disappointment over the years. So many times I've wanted to do something special for someone but I put it off and then it's too late. Or I'll have the perfect project idea for class but run out of time in the end because I didn't start until the night before.

All this to say, I've done it again. The summer class I was enrolled in just ended last Thursday. It was a go-at-your-own-pace kind of class. I started out early and did almost half the class in one week. So I figured "I've got time" and I promptly forgot all about it until a couple of weeks before the class was to end. I had so much to makeup and then the worst happened. I lost the DVD textbook I needed to complete it. I searched and searched to no avail. Of course I didn't start searching in earnest until nine o'clock on the third night before the assignments were due. Luckily I finally found it in a bag at the bottom of the coat closet.

After two nights of staying up past midnight (being grumpy and pretty much unavailable to my children) I sent the last assignment in at 11:59 p.m., one minute before it was due. Talk about cutting it close. And the last assignment (5% of my grade) was only half done, but I had to let it go. This very likely would be the difference between an A and a B. Those of you who read this blog will know that taking a B is almost as bad as an F to me. I was kicking myself all the next day. How could I have procrastinated over such an easy class, a guaranteed A, and caused my GPA to slip, no matter how slightly????

I logged on today in the hopes that our final grades had been posted. They were. To my amazement and absolute delight I read: "your final grade in this class is A-"! Hoorah! It might be an A minus, but its still an A!!!

As always, I'll give myself a stern talking to and make myself promise to never do that again, knowing full well I will. I don't even think I can be rehabilitated at this point. It goes to the core of who I am. I'm not even sure I would change it if I could, although I should. (See, that's the guilt of a chronic procrastinator kicking in.) But one things for sure, it makes life interesting. Like watching a horse race, you never know if you are going to win until the last second.